52 Days of Paleo, Day 11

Today's lunch. Rice is non-Paleo, so I skipped eating that part.

Does everyone struggle to do the right thing for themselves?

This is going to be a short post and I am writing it with my tail between my legs.

You'll notice that the title of this post is 52 days of Paleo, day 11. There is no day 9 and day 10 post. This is because the last two days have been a struggle, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't have my life completely together.

Over the last 48 hours, I have been stressed, overworked, and feeling a lot of doubt about this program I put myself on. I've had severe cravings for junk food sugar and I’ve almost given in to them a number of times. It is taken tremendous will to not pull through the drive-through at a Wendy's and order my habitual number two double with a chocolate-chunk cookie.

I fought and (barely) held on (caveat - I dipped my toe outside of the Paleo pool twice in the last 72 hours when rice was added to my lunch at a fast-casual restaurant both times, but I count the fact that I limited myself and only ate a little rice as a win).

I'm smart enough to realize that emotional stress is one of my triggers for junk eating. I eat my feelings when I feel a bit overwhelmed, overworked, and pulled in too many directions. I also can get locked into an emotional mental spiral that says I'm not getting anything productive done, so I should feel guilty about not getting the important things done, and consider myself a failure. In the past, I would simply give in to the pain of these feelings and soothe myself with an ice-cream-and-candy Blast at Sonic, or a double-quarter pounder meal with two strawberry cream pies at McDonald's, or a double-Whopper with Cini-Mini bites at Burger King (anywhere I can buy a bag full of grease and fat and sugar to rot out the inside of my gut with).

My body and mind threw everything I could conjure at me to pull me off my Paleo plan. Justification. Hunger Pains. Cravings. I fought the battle against these cravings and I'm happy to report that I won. This time. So I'm back, putting myself out there, sharing the frailty of my commitment to eat clean. And if I can fight through the inevitable challenges you are going to face when you're putting yourself on a clean program, you can too.

Breakfast: Black coffee sweetened with raw honey and banana.

Lunch: Wasabi Grill; grilled chicken, steamed vegetables, a bit of brown rice (the meal came with it but avoided it to keep the meal as Paleo as possible.

Dinner: Tacos; gluten-free soft tortilla shells, ground turkey, pinto beans (these are non-Paleo I now realize, dammit!), lettuce, gluten-free taco sauce.

Snacks: Banana. Gluten free chocolate chip and raisin cookie from Coyote Oaties. A Base Culture Cashew Butter Blondie.

Exercise: None today (too many work meetings and other obligations).

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